Lion-Heart

was like a machine for the past week and the human part of me just ain't functioning.. after a week of thinking and sorting out thoughts.. i still didn't know what to do.. till i saw my bro's 300 shirt.. the 300 spartans.. they died but they gave their all.. their valour and bravery shook me and told me to wake up and get my ass moving again.. and here i am.. getting slightly better by the day though i still felt a bit weird.. however, now i know what to do.

the Spartans NEVER gave up and fought to the very end.

i Crashed Landed @ 1:38 AM.

i finally got it off my chest.. though it's not an answer i always wanted but i'm glad i did it.. was a painful experience though.. though it was not the first time i experience this but it was indeed more painful than the previous times.. but i know she had my interests at heart.. she made it kinda less painful as possible.. i don't want things to change but i know it will never be the same again.

i don't know how it turned out like this but it seemed to happen everytime.. maybe it's that i didn't put in any effort, i look like a monster or i just really suck. well, time to get the sleepless nights again.. hope i can bounce back like i used to but don't know how long it'll take this time round though..

in the meantime, i am so lost but life still goes on.

it was as if my armour was stripped in battle.

lost my motivation and fighting spirit.

i don't know how to take my exams.

i really don't know what to do.

i Crashed Landed @ 6:57 AM.

exams finally over!! what a strenous month.. engineering can really kill us all.. and heard form my professors that there's ANOTHER 1 coming up in the near future.. that is really, really bad news.. think i won't do so well in this one.. didn't put much effort as i wasn't that interested in it.. the reports passed up were also kinda 'chui' due to the time constraints.. too many pipes, valves and all that nonsense.. as for the questions i attempted in the exams, think i used the wrong approach to do 2 questions and i didn't know how to do one 20 mark question!! just pray that dr carr will have mercy on me and give me some method marks..

dr carr here giving a lecture..

he's a nice teacher who gives interesting and funny lectures.. he told us the reason why teachers like to point with the middle finger was that the other fingers were used to hold on to the markers.. so no choice but to point with the middle finger.. haha!! some background information about him was that he was previously working in the industry and we're his first batch of students so he told us to bear with him if he didn't teach that well..

farewell pic for dr allistair carr

but he did a pretty good job for a first timer i suppose.. he will really go all out to explain everything until we understood all that he said.. kinda guilty that we didn't listen to him for the last few lessons as we're all busy doing the dreaded reports.. he knows we're doing that as all our laptops were up in class.. lolx.. but he still continued teaching.. really a very patient and knowledgeable teacher.. no wonder all the girls are so swooned by him.. other than that, we're pretty amused by his weird sound effects when he was drawing or getting zeros and cancelling the equations off..

after the exams, classmates and me went to eat shokudo then we also went to try ice skating.. eric said that my shitty skating techniques were okay for a first timer, so it's pretty good to hear that and he also said ice skating's tougher than roller blading.. so this one can do it, roller blading sure can.. time for some roller blading as well!! fell 2 times in the ice.. feeling is shiok la.. like playing rugby match like that.. just that no mud on the ice.. however the bad thingy was that you'll get wet patches on your butt when u fall and it's like u peeed in the pants or something.. haha~

me and classmates having fun at shokudo

this might come a bit late and due to time constraints didn't get to post pics.. bee's 21st b'dae party!! it was a fun bbq.. although i was kinda a party pooper by bringing my lappy to do my dreaded reports.. nevertheless, hope ya enjoyed it..

bee's 21st b'dae party.. kinda a crazy party.. but fun!!

some random thoughts here.. i feel like as if i'm at the crossroads now.. 2 routes to take to a destination.. one is the route that i want to take as this route was attempted before though i didn't exactly complete the trip and get to my destination but the journey gives good memories due to some of the nice places visited on the way although now it's kinda different and it is slightly fraught with dangers and not the same as the way it is 2 years back.. in contrast, the 2nd route is a slightly easier route and also a safer one.. although the route was not attempted before and much is not known about it but it seems like a better and wiser choice to take..

i need some sense of direction.. a compass to set my bearing.. i really don't know what to do.. only time will tell because i believe 一切随缘..

i Crashed Landed @ 11:48 PM.

omg.. finally finished those pesky reports.. they are really a pain the the butt.. it's so tough to understand, so difficult to do.. and another problem is that the different teachers gave different explanations and some of the things taught as first were known as incorrect.. most of the time is spent to understand and redo the entire data analysis due to SO many changes.. if not i could finish early and revise for my engineering exam this thurs..

never stayed in school for so long and til so late.. never once did i went home for dinner for the past 2 weeks.. and last fri, me and my mates worked through the night til 2 plus in the wee hours of the morning before i drove and reached home about 4am. school is just like a second home where i spend more time there more than any other place..

time is a bit tight for revisions but i'm sure we'll all be able to make it nevertheless like the last time we had our advanced chemistry paper.. though this time it's kinda like an uphill task.. sighz..

sometimes i just ponder.. what i am to you?? everything, nothing or something?? definitely not everything 'cause i'm not that important, hopefully i fall into the category of something as this shows that at least i meant something to you but if it's nothing, well.. i don't know what to say.. that's life i guess..

time to embrace the wrath of the engineering exams.. runours were that only 1 in 3 could pass the paper in class.. it is that dreadful.. just wanna tide this through..

*prays for me and my classmates*

i Crashed Landed @ 12:21 AM.