sometimes i just question about my existence here.. i don't seem to have any direction.. no light in sight.. everything seems so bleak.. just feeling kinda bored, sianz and out of place.. come to think of it, it's not that easy to live your life as two persons.. one being the soldier who would be deployed in war when it comes and the other as the peace loving person who wouldn't give a damn bout anything.. maybe i should just travel around the world by foot to see the world.. maybe then i would learn something or gain some enlightenment..
the feeling just sucks.. don't know why i felt like this.. for the past week, it's been kinda toturous to be treated like toy soldiers played around between fingers.. i can't seem to even have peace even when i'm out.. i still see army peeps.. i saw 3 officers, my sergeant, a driver and my platoon mates.. can't even be a civilian in peace for a day..
sprained my ankle during camouflaging of the caterpillar car.. the ankle came off but it didn't quite exactly drop off but the pain was excruciating.. can't even run and even walk properly now.. feeling down and out and it's like for no particular reason.. now i just feel like throwing everything to one side and just disappear for some time and i'll just hide in some small little island where nobody could find me so that i might get some peace.
